I feel little, sharp teeth nibbling on my toes. I pull them away and tend to my little wounds; and watch them move on to the next foot. Their little, wet noses brush my leg as I pat them on the head. I feel their soft, gentle fur, and pick it up and hug it! I never want to let go.
It was time to pick one. My mom chose first and picked the little one next to my shoe, chewing vigorously. It was then my turn to pick one. I looked around for a long time. I had finally made my decision. It was the darkest fur color, the chubbiest, and the sleepiest. He was sleeping under the wheelbarrow that had brought them all out. I pointed at him and my mom and I looked at each other and knew, that that was the one.
-Phoebe
I love the details you are including in here--especially that line about sleeping under the wheelbarrow. I can totally picture that! I would love more description of him though--what does he look like exactly?
ReplyDeletePhoebe, you described the setting which you were in very well-- I was able to picture it, and your writing lets the reader know that the mood is obviously happy and cheerful because of little inferences you put in there, which is cool. :)
ReplyDelete~Lindsay
I also enjoy all of the sensory details. Is this a memoir of the time you got Eddie, or just fiction? Also you have some repeated words.
ReplyDelete