It was dark outside. The wind was blowing as Mark and Claire walked up the pathway. The house was an old Victorian home and years of being unattended left it in shambles. The wood was molding and the paint was chipped off and fading. The fall breeze blew ominously, making the house creak loudly. Red and yellow leaved trees surrounded the building. Legend had it that anyone who set foot in the house never came out. Mark and Claire were about to try their luck. Standing on the creaky porch, Claire hesitated.
"You think the legends are true?" asked Claire.
"Heck no! It's just a story to scare little kids," replied Mark confidently.
"Yeah, you're right," said Claire.
With that they opened the large, aged door. It creaked so loud that Claire jumped.
"Come on you wuss," Mark laughed.
They took a couple steps in and the door slammed shut behind them.
"Must be the wind," said Mark.
The room they seemed to be in was an old living room. It was bereft furniture and cobwebs hung in every nook and cranny. To the left there was a door and to the right there was a fireplace. Directly in front of them was a large balcony overlooking the whole area.
“I can’t believe that you would actually do this for 20 dollars,” Claire muttered as they proceeded to go up the stairs to the balcony.
“What are you talking about? This is easy money,” Mark replied.
Mark opened a door at the top of the stairs.
"Hey check it out! It's a bathroom!" Mark said laughing. “Let’s see if it still works!”
He rushed in and mocked sitting on the toilet when suddenly the door shut with a click.
"Mark?" Claire yelled, frightened.
There was no reply. Claire whimpered. Suddenly a bloodcurdling scream emanated from the walls. Claire screamed herself, but was drowned out by the horrid noise. She ran down the stairs, hands over her ears. The scream stopped. The house started to creak. She looked around frantically. Out of nowhere the walls started to squish in as if it were a scene from Star Wars. She sprinted toward the door as fast as she could. When she reached it, she turned the knob and pushed with all her might, but the door did not budge. Scanning the quickly shrinking room for another exit, she saw a window to her right. Without hesitation she slammed through it breaking the glass. She landed on the molding porch and vaulted over the railing. Claire ran as hard as she could without looking back.
"You think the legends are true?" asked Claire.
"Heck no! It's just a story to scare little kids," replied Mark confidently.
"Yeah, you're right," said Claire.
With that they opened the large, aged door. It creaked so loud that Claire jumped.
"Come on you wuss," Mark laughed.
They took a couple steps in and the door slammed shut behind them.
"Must be the wind," said Mark.
The room they seemed to be in was an old living room. It was bereft furniture and cobwebs hung in every nook and cranny. To the left there was a door and to the right there was a fireplace. Directly in front of them was a large balcony overlooking the whole area.
“I can’t believe that you would actually do this for 20 dollars,” Claire muttered as they proceeded to go up the stairs to the balcony.
“What are you talking about? This is easy money,” Mark replied.
Mark opened a door at the top of the stairs.
"Hey check it out! It's a bathroom!" Mark said laughing. “Let’s see if it still works!”
He rushed in and mocked sitting on the toilet when suddenly the door shut with a click.
"Mark?" Claire yelled, frightened.
There was no reply. Claire whimpered. Suddenly a bloodcurdling scream emanated from the walls. Claire screamed herself, but was drowned out by the horrid noise. She ran down the stairs, hands over her ears. The scream stopped. The house started to creak. She looked around frantically. Out of nowhere the walls started to squish in as if it were a scene from Star Wars. She sprinted toward the door as fast as she could. When she reached it, she turned the knob and pushed with all her might, but the door did not budge. Scanning the quickly shrinking room for another exit, she saw a window to her right. Without hesitation she slammed through it breaking the glass. She landed on the molding porch and vaulted over the railing. Claire ran as hard as she could without looking back.
Noa--
ReplyDeleteI love your strong verbs: "vaulted", "whimpered", etc. Are you planning on continuing with this? I really want to find out what happened to Mark and where he went.
-Lindsay
Yeah! Geez Noa, way to leave me hanging! I really want you to continue it and your strong verbs are really good. I like how you make the characters relatable (Mark especially, he is SUCH a teenager) But the only question I have is how are Mark and Clair conected? Childhood friends? siblings?
ReplyDeleteLiesl
Noa, you do A VERY good job at making a voice for the characters so that you can tell exactly who they are. They are so well developed and I agree with Liesl, Mark is such a teenage boy!!! Ya so are you going to finish with this?
ReplyDelete-Liz
Noa- you did a very good job making a voice for the character, like liz said, and it's such a cliffhanger! I want to read more and find out what happens next! Keep up the great work!
ReplyDelete-Phoebe