Writer's blocks, the bane of my existence. I try to think,
but my nouns aren’t specific, my verbs aren’t powerful, my phrasing is plain as
day, and my starts are all boring. I can barely get a solid idea that I like.
After what feels like years of thinking, I choose a petty topic, but the best I
manage is this:
Pumpkins surrounded me, a field of orange, lumpy shapes, as
I try to find the perfect one for carving. Being a teenager, I know that this
will probably be my last Halloween, and I want to make it count. I had already
picked out a costume: a generic, but classic vampire. Nothing too flashy, but I
thought a vampire captured the essence of Halloween the best. Now all I needed
to do was to find the perfect pumpkin.
My eyes, scanned the field come acros the perfect pumpkn.
Not a pumpkin in those cheesy childrns stories, that is ugly and unwanted, but
the most symmetric, perfectly colored and
A stupid piece about pumpkins and Halloween that I don’t
even finish, filled with grammatical and spelling errors that I am too lazy to
fix. After the last sentence, my brain becomes as blank as a sheet of paper. My
usual plethora of ideas is gone, replaced my frustration and anger. My face is
a mask of rage and ire. The more I think the less is there. Appositive phrases
and adjectives shifted out of place. What are those again? I can’t even
remember the basics of writing well. I try to make my writing better, but the
turnout is that rambly junk. Just as I am about to give up, an idea suddenly
strikes, a bullet of inspiration shot into my head. Grasping the idea and
holding on, I write everything that comes to mind.
Heat blazing from the constant fire, a frenzy of red-yellow
flames, I wipe a bead of sweat off of my face. Black soot covering my hands, I
grasp the large heavy hammer and strike the glowing metal, sending a jolt up my
arm. The iron rod bends to my blows gradually forming into the shape I want.
Heat fades from the rod, I stick it back in the hearth. Dipping my tools into
cool water makes tendrils of steam rise to the ceiling. I sit, waiting for the
metal to heat up and the strain on all of my muscles relaxes. The acrid smell
of the forge surrounds me and I breathe in deeply.
“One more round should do it, “ I think to myself.
I wince as the hammer
hits the metal, creating a high pitched ping, a banshee’s tortured scream.
Twice more I pound the iron. Finally I have acquired the shape I desire. A
dagger, small and sharp sits on the anvil, glinting in the dim light. I sit
back and sigh, content with my work.
I sit back in my chair and read over my work. A decent
start, but It could use some work.
“I’ll do it later,” I think to myself. Right now I am
just happy I overcame my dreaded writer's block.
Noa, I think what started out as a short, choppy sensory piece has really flourished into a full, descriptive story. I like how you start the thing about the pumpkins and then stop and transition into your piece. My one suggestion is that it seems kind of random going from pumpkin picking to black smithing so maybe you can say "i did this yesterday" or whatever so that it doesn't just pop out of no where. I really like this though and it's a good piece to send out! I especially like the line "Finally I have acquired the shape I desire." It's really strong and it adds a great deal to the piece. ~Liz
ReplyDeleteNoa, I really like this piece! Its really good! The part of it that I enjoyed the most is the part where you forget some letters. I thought it was just a careless mistake but when you mentioned that you forgot them, it really made me laugh and I found it helpful that you meant to do that! I also agree with liz. I think its kind of random going from pumpkins to blacksmithing. Great job though!
ReplyDelete-Phoebe