Blue
The color of a deep blue evening
under the crystal clear skieson a summer night,
dotted with stars.
Blue is the color
of a midnight trance,swirling in a land of fantasy,
on the wings of a dream.
Blue is the morning light
reflecting off the mountainsoutside of my windows
throwing beams of crystalline light.
Blue is the feeling
of faded jeans, lovedand patched
beyond all repairing.
And blue is the sky and sun
after a long week of clouds. The most beautiful thing
I have ever seen
I can definitely relate to this! I love the verbs, the word choice, the structure. Yet, I feel the last two lines could be stronger somehow.
ReplyDeleteI think that this was really good Liesl! I really super duper liked, "Blue is the feeling
ReplyDeleteof faded jeans, loved
and patched
beyond all repairing. " I think that was your strongest stanza. I agree with Lindsay though, I think that the last two lines could be a little stronger. I think you could continue this and keep working on it to make it perfect! And maybe enter it somewhere...
I think once you work on it you will have a great piece! I like the second stanza. Very cool! I also REALLY love the verbs and structure. But something just sounds weird about the stanza about the jeans...I like the idea but just play with words and see what you come up with. :) -Liz
ReplyDeleteYes, I agree with the others--such potential here. I love the lines "Blue is the color of a midnight trance." Taking some lessons from Natalie Babbitt here! Keep working on this...
ReplyDelete