I walked by him every day and I barely paid any attention. Maybe it was because I felt that I was better than him; that he was scum underneath my boots that I needed to scrape off. Whatever it was I regret it. Officials surround his body, camera's flash, and officers take notes. I stand there in the backround with guilt dripping off of my body.
"Died from starvation it looks like," I hear one of the officers announce.
I catch a glimpse of the body, a thin and weak frame covered in ragged torn clothes. A beard coveres his dirty, lifeless face. I look away.
The last time I had seen him, he sat in his usual blanket covered spot on the rough pavement and glanced up at me with tired eyes.
"Can you spare a couple dollers, son?" he croaked. All I did was glance at him then walk away.
In that moment I could have made a difference. I may have saved that man. Fevered with guilt I run away from the scene, tears running down my face.
I love the way you use the word Fever. Great description of his lifeless corpse. Well done.
ReplyDeleteMorbid Noa. Totally morbid. It's good though. I think that you could expand more though. In the part where the officials are surrounding his body, you could tell how your character is feeling more... Describe the scene more vividly. I feel like you were in a rush when you wrote it... which you probably were...
ReplyDeleteLiesl
Yes i agree with Liesl. He must feel really guilty...show that.
ReplyDeleteTugs at me...the issue of homelessness is such a personal topic for me, and with this surge of cold weather we've been having, I think about them all the time. It's dangerous to be out there these days...I would love to feel more of his guilt as well.
ReplyDelete