A scene of devastation met their eyes. Mary and Jim looked at the kitchen in utter terror. Pots and pans were scattered everywhere, food from the fridge splattered on the walls, drawers ripped opened, as if a tornado had struck. Mouth’s agape, the couple could hardly speak.
“Wh-who did this?” Jim asked incredulously
Two bright blue mischievous eyes peeked out behind the kitchen island.
“YOU!” Jim yelled accusingly.
The blue eyes widened at the sound and they ducked behind the island again.
“You are in HUGE trouble missy,” Jim threatened.
A girl with a head full of blond curls fled the scene, a tiny bright blur.
“Get back here!” Jim shouted. He started to run after her, but promptly slipped in last night's pasta sauce and landed flat on his back. He cursed loudly. Oblivious the the red goop that covered his body he picked himself up, only to trip on a large wok and hit his head on a pan.
He continued bumbling like a bear around the kitchen, tripping, bumping into furniture, and of course falling down, until he had given up his chase. He sat down in the wreck of a kitchen painting. Mary finally rolled her eyes, easily navigated through the kitchen and picked up their daughter in her arms, and gave Jim a look that said “You really couldn’t have done this on your own?” She sighed and walked out of the room, leaving Jim a mess on the floor in the destroyed kitchen.
Very nice, a little bit of a nice twist on what could have been a very dark and disturbing story. I was trying to figure out a way to make it a little less dark, but obviously, I didn't succeed. Could you change the name of the two adults though? They seem a little cliche.
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I agree with Liesl. You made a seemingly dark sentence into a light-hearted, humorous story. I like the simpleness of it and how the dad's character is kind of foolish. Good job!
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