On a gray, foggy morning they came,
whispering tendrils of fear snaking around my mind and ensnaring the good
thoughts, the happy thoughts, and crushing the life out of them, then throwing
them aside like a wasted cigarette that has had the life smoked out of it. The dark thoughts, the evil thoughts they encouraged
to grow, spread far and wide to the far corners of your mind, like some evil, villainous
plant intent on crushing the sunshine out of every happy memory.
The gray fog itself was the poison; it
was the tendrils of poison intent on turning everyone it touched into a killer,
into a gray, cold assassin, one who could kill without blinking an eye. It was
Their secret weapon. It was the thing that They had been boasting about for
years. And none of us was prepared to resist.
Very scary. I love the description in this piece. You use tendrils twice. Who are "They" and is this some kind of chemical warfare? I'd love to know some back story on this piece
ReplyDeleteThis is a very descriptive short piece. You use great words but it seems a bit repetitive. You use the word "tendrils" twice and It's a good word but in such a small bit of writing like this, it stands out a lot. You aalso say poisen twice in the same sentence. Very good word choice! -Liz
ReplyDeleteLiesl,
ReplyDeleteThis is quite dark, but has good description. All I have to say is that the first sentence could be split up because it runs on a little.
--Lindsay