It seems I have no life
playing video games in the dark.
And when I play Xbox online
I make many rude remarks.
I only stop to eat and sleep
and I never get any fresh air.
The curtains are closed to stop sunlight
from leaking into my lair.
My skin is pale, my hands are sweaty
as I franticly press the buttons.
Dandruff falls from my head
and I smell like rotten mutton.
My pupils are wide as watch the screen
easily beating a level.
But then I lose and I freak out
my rage and anger equal to the devils.
I think I should quit at video games,
and move out of my parents basement.
Maybe try to find a job somewhere
Real life--I'm about to face it.
by Noa
Noa--
ReplyDeleteYou are able to come up with some of the best rhymes, and they fit into your poem so well. Depending if you are planning to add onto this poem, if you are, maybe you could tell the reader a little more about "why you should quit video games", but other than that, this poem made me laugh and I really enjoyed reading it!
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ReplyDeleteYou are a very good and humorous poet. I really like this one. You do a really good job at finding near rhymes to make the poem sound good and make it funny. Great job, I also really like the plot. -Liz
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